A really shitty time

I’ve had a long, storied history with gastrointestinal issues. It started out as a mysterious bout of constipation when we were on a vacation to Cape Cod back in 2016. Everything was going great, until I realized I hadn’t had a BM in over five days. My stomach got severely bloated; I wanted to stop eating completely until I was able to go to the bathroom, because the sensation of the walls of my stomach closing in as food went in but didn’t go out was horrible. But I didn’t stop being hungry, so I had to eat.

I drank coffee. I drank water. I took long walks on the beach. I swam till I was exhausted. I even tried laxatives! Nothing would make that shit come out. NOTHING. It ruined my vacation.

After that, I would have these random episodes of complete and total shit stoppage every few months. They started getting more frequent. It always happened when I was traveling, whether for work or vacation; it was like somehow my body knew that this time when I was getting in the car, I was going on a trip, and I would imagine some little worker guy in my guts calling out to all the other little worker guys, “Ok, she’s getting ready to go on a trip, LOCK IT DOWN!” and the gears of my bowels would screech to a halt.

My grandfather had recently passed away from colon cancer in 2019; it was a slow, horrible death, and he suffered terribly. Toward the end, he recalled to me how he should have listened to his doctor and gotten a colonoscopy. I remember him saying, in his very “Papa” way, “If there’s ever something weird with your poopy, make sure you get it checked out.” I started getting more worried as the frequency, severity, and length of the episodes increased.

I saw a doctor about what I was experiencing, and he said it sounded like IBS. So he put me on a medication that was supposed to help. I mean, technically, it did help the specific problem I was having, but caused a new one: on the medication, I basically turned into a shit faucet. From about 30 minutes after I took the pill in the morning until about 4-6 hours later, I was going number two every 20-30 minutes. It was watery. It was painful. It was gross. And I felt like I was gross. And I’ll tell you what was especially frustrating - the bloating didn’t even go away! I was going to the bathroom at an alarming rate AND still bloated. Some days, I wouldn’t take the pill, just to get some relief, but if I went too long without taking it, my colon would firmly cork itself shut again.

At that time, I had received my Ehlers Danlos diagnosis, but I wasn’t aware that it could cause those kinds of bowel issues. But I was worried that something serious was going on, and my doctor agreed to send me for a colonoscopy. Have y’all ever had one of those? Let me tell you what it was like for me.

I had to drink this incredibly salty drink, followed by an obnoxious amount of water, over a small period of time. To be honest, I can’t remember how long. It could have been 20 minutes or two hours; it wouldn’t have mattered, it was too much liquid and it was disgusting. Then, I had to wake up in the wee hours of the morning and do it again. This is the cleanout phase. For obvious reasons, they want those pipes as empty as possible before the camera gets inserted.

As disgusting as the drink (and really, the whole cleanout process in general) was, I was delighted to discover that, for the first time in years, my bloating was completely gone. I looked like myself again! When I arrived for my colonoscopy, they had me try to evacuate my bowels one last time, and I am not exaggerating at all when I tell you it was CLEAR - like water. Not yellow water or cloudy water, but clear water.

The procedure itself was a piece of cake. The gave me a local anesthetic and it knocked me out pretty quick; I woke up what felt like five minutes later and was told it was already over and I could go home. And they gave me what was supposed to be the good news: they hadn’t found anything worrisome at all. No polyps. Nothing. So why was I so bummed out?

It’s because I still didn’t have any answers.

Magically, everything went back to normal for a good two weeks after that. I felt like a regular person again, who didn’t have to spend every waking moment thinking about my shit. By the time I had my follow-up appointment a few weeks later, though, it had gone back to the way it was. I was constipated again. The doctor told me that it’s possible that I had something going on where my colon wasn’t completely emptying, and the poop was building up and causing a blockage. She recommended that I try a low FODMAP diet. I was willing to do anything, so I tried it. I stayed low FODMAP for about 6 weeks and nothing changed. I was depressed, anxious, and irritable. I was so mad at my body for not just doing what I wanted it to do! And I didn’t understand why it was happening.

It’s worth mentioning that I’m a generally healthy eater. I love vegetables and eat a lot of them. I’ve also been a regular exerciser (when I’m not in too much pain from a flare-up) for decades. This didn’t happen because I wasn’t eating enough fiber. I was eating a ton of fiber! Still, I took the fiber supplements the doctor recommended because again, I was willing to try anything. It still didn’t work.

Here’s what eventually did work.

For some reason, I started feeling a little bit grossed out by burgers and red meat in general, along with pork and even chicken. I decided to focus on veggies, fruit, and legumes for a while, and on occasion when I would eat meat, I would get a terrible stomach ache. So, I just stopped eating it for the most part. Not completely - I’d say my diet was about 80% vegetarian at that point. But when I did eat meat, I tried to make sure it was fish - that seemed just fine on my stomach.

It was about this time when I started hearing more about our “gut microbiome” and how diversity in the microbiome is important. I happened to see an article that mentioned Justin Sonnenberg’s study comparing a group of folks eating additional fiber to a group of other folks eating 3 servings a day of fermented foods; all the participants had gastrointestinal issues, and after 16 weeks, the fermented foods group had improved their symptoms by a lot over the group who only ate additional fiber. I decided to give it a try.

I’ve grown to really like kimchi and kombucha, but they were definitely an acquired taste for me. But I’m glad I stuck with it; after a couple of months, my BMs started to regulate themselves. I could even poop when I was on trips! The longer I stuck with fermented foods, I found I could tolerate meat again as well. I still don’t eat a ton of meat, because I simply prefer vegetarian and pescatarian options, but when I want it I can eat it with no issue.

From time to time, I do have little episodes. I’m not sure that those will ever go away completely. But usually I can get back on track easily if I add in some additional kimchi AND try to get some extra fiber as well.

I know this won’t work for everyone (especially, as I recently learned, folks who are on a low histamine diet), but it sure worked for me.